Boys Don't Cry
by oyasumiQuincy
Summary: It was about time that both of them knew that boys like them were not meant to cry...Perfect Pair...
1. temporary bliss

A/N: hihi…hello minna-san!!!:D me back with another fic…this time…it's a happy ending..hopefully…:D winkwink nwei…this fic stars my one true pairing…TezFu…the oh-so-PERFECT PAIR!!!:D hihi...ejoy..:D and please do review!!:D

Disclaimer: Me no ownie…me saddie…TT demo…Konomi-sensei does ownie…:D

* * *

Temporary Bliss

_If I tell you that I have always loved you, what'll you do?_

That was the question that Fuji Syuusuke kept asking himself for the past year. Ever since he had first laid eyes on a certain Tezuka Kunimitsu, his life changed. It has been two years since he, together with his family, had moved from Chiba to Tokyo. It has been two years and he had moved on from his painful past. It has been two years, and still, that perplexing question never tired to bother him.

The person that was occupying Fuji's mind is currently standing beside the courts, not forgetting an occasional (or maybe not) shout for laps to some wayward club members. Fuji looked at him intently, not missing the streak of sweat that streamed down his beautifully carved cheek. _Beautiful is an understatement_, Fuji thought. Tezuka, in Fuji's opinion, is not simply beautiful, per se. Tezuka is an epitome of beauty. He is beauty himself and no one can naysay that, not even Atobe Keigo.

Whilst Fuji was building castles with Tezuka in it in the air, the latter looked at the former's direction. Thinking that there was something wrong with the tensai, Tezuka walked towards Fuji, who was slumped on a bench, wearing a rather lopsided smile. Upon reaching the smaller boy, he put his hand on Fuji's forehead. This startled Fuji, of course. Who wouldn't be when the person of your dreams suddenly solidifies himself in front of you and does a princely thing such as letting his delicate hands touch your dank forehead?

"Tezuka!" Fuji was forced out of his fantasy. He sat up straight and looked at Tezuka. He couldn't help but notice the lines that were starting to form in his buchou's forehead. _His _buchou. _Now that sounded right and good_, Fuji thought.

"Are you alright?" Tezuka sounded concerned. Actually, he _was_ concerned. Fuji was one of Seigaku's top players, and a sick Fuji is a serious matter and something that is definitely worth to be concerned about.

"H-hai, Tezuka. I'm alright. What makes you think I'm not alright?"

"Nothing." And with that. Tezuka left. He went back to his post and instructed the first years to pick up balls. He called for the regulars and instructed them to pair up and do some practice matches. While Fuji was walking towards his court, he shot a glance at the stoic captain. _Hn, Tezuka, why are you playing dumb with me, _Fuji thought.

oOo

After practice, Fuji immediately went to the clubroom. He sat down and hung his head, a towel hiding it from view. Fuji was starting to get hurt from Tezuka's nonchalance. He wanted to make Tezuka feel his love for him, but so far, all his efforts went down the drain. Wanting to relax himself, he stood up and went to the showers. He found that all cubicles were empty, save for one, the one Tezuka was using. Fuji looked at a nearby bench, and saw Tezuka's neatly folded change of clothes – his uniform and fresh socks – with his glasses on top of his uniform. He went near Tezuka's things, touched them lightly and inhaled the scent that was Tezuka's. Fuji felt temporary bliss, his senses were on high, and he was about to collapse onto the bench when a pair of wet hands held his arms and shook him gently.

"Fuji, are you really alright?" Tezuka's brows were creased in concern, and worry was evident in his hazel eyes. Fuji smiled at Tezuka, a pained smile at that. He didn't answer Tezuka's question. He just stood up and went to the showers. Tezuka followed him with his gaze, he was bothered. Fuji wasn't normally like this. Fuji was hiding something that he didn't want others to know about, and he could have succeeded, if only Tezuka couldn't read him. The two of them were friends since first years, and for that long time, Tezuka had learned to read, even for a bit, Fuji, especially when he is most vulnerable.

Tezuka waited for Fuji to finish showering. He was going to walk Fuji home and force the tensai to talk about what was bothering him.

oOo

While Fuji was in the showers, he thought of what happened. _Tezuka actually looked concerned_, he told himself. He let the water run down on him, _this feels nice_, he added to his thoughts. Fuji never felt like this before. Tezuka and him alone in the club room, Tezuka caring about him, Tezuka half-naked in front of him, _it was a sight to behold_, he chuckled. He must remember to do that again.

When he finished showering, he saw that he was not alone. Tezuka was sitting on the bench, and looked at Fuji and said, "I'm walking you home." Fuji smiled at Tezuka like a child, he was starting to like his way of doing things.

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A/N: So...how was that for a start eh?..hope you all liked it..please review..:D 


	2. Skipping to and school

Disclaimer: Kono-sensei owns PoT…

A/N: Second chappie's up…:D thanks for all those people that reviewed..hugs you all nwei…hope you like this chapter...:D

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Skipping to and school 

The next day, Fuji was awakened by a strident thunder crashing through the sky. Rain clouds were starting to form outside his bedroom window and cold winds were tapping against his windows. A heavy pour was threatening to ruin the day, but Fuji didn't care. He had always loved rain, especially its ability to hide one's tears and misery. Like rain, Fuji also had this ability, which is especially useful when he is hurting.

Fuji got up from his bed, washed his face, splashing some cold water onto it. He brushed his teeth and afterwards, went down for breakfast. "Ohayo nee-san!" Fuji said with a smile.

"Ohayo, Syuusuke," Fuji Yumiko replied fuzzily. "You look particularly happy this morning," she added.

Fuji looked at his older sister. She was definitely not a drizzly morning person. But he wasn't going to be affected by this kind of attitude. He was happy, perfectly happy. Tezuka showed him that he was concerned about Fuji, after all these years that they were together. The captain even walked him home the night before! So, nothing was going to stop him from being perfectly, completely, absolutely happy because he would not let anyone ruin his mood.

"Nee-san, there are lots of reasons to be perfectly happy. All you got to do is choose from one of those reasons," Fuji said thoughtfully. He was right; there are lots of reasons to be happy, you just need to choose from those reasons. His was because of Tezuka, and it was such a very beautiful reason, literally and figuratively.

"Whatever, Syuusuke. Just hurry up and finish your meal," Yumiko shrugged. She had no time to play one of her brother's morning mind games.

"Okay," Fuji said with a smile.

oOo

After breakfast, Fuji hurriedly went to school, merrily skipping and whistling while walking under the pouring rain in a big black umbrella. He remembered once Tezuka asked him why he preferred big umbrellas. He only told the captain that it is more pleasurable sharing umbrellas than being alone under a small one.

On the way to school, he saw a beautiful lily inside a flower shop, and marveled at its beauty. He imagined someone giving him a lily as a sign of love. He imagined _Tezuka_ giving him a lily as a sign of love. Oh, how happy he would surely be!

Nearing Seigaku, he saw that a few meters ahead, under a small brown umbrella, of him was Tezuka. He thought of running towards the god that was Tezuka, but didn't. He wanted to surprise Tezuka. He wanted to see Tezuka worried about him again. So, he thought of a plan. He would wait for the rain to stop, and deliberately get late for school. That way, Tezuka would look for him, even drop him a call, perhaps.

While Fuji was following Tezuka from behind, his phone beeped. When he looked at it, he saw that it was from someone he wanted to talk to. It was from someone he wanted to forget. It asked him whether he could meet with the tensai that day. Fuji pondered on what to do for a while. If he met with the person, his plan would surely be put into action. If he didn't, he would miss the chance to clear things up with this person. And, there wouldn't be anymore chances left to make Tezuka worry for him.

After considering the pros and cons of the situation, Fuji opened his flip top phone and typed a "Yes" to the message that he received earlier. Afterwards, he closed his phone with a soft shut and blew a kiss in Tezuka's direction. _Bye Tezuka, you won't be seeing me this morning_, Fuji thought. Obviously, he chose to skip school, meet with the person and make Tezuka think about him. His plan was perfect, and he was, yet again, happy.

oOo

_Yes_, the message read. _Fuji Syuusuke will be meeting up with me_. The person smiled to himself. He had been waiting for this ever since he can remember. For so long, he had wanted to see the beauty that was Fuji Syuusuke. He wanted to hear the tensai's voice – such a beautiful music to his ears. He wanted to feel the tensai's skin – touch its silky smoothness and smell its fragrant scent. He wanted Fuji Syuusuke, and he was going to do anything to have him. He had finally learned to be selfish, and this time, he was going to be selfish at all cost, because Fuji Syuusuke is his, and no one can have him, except him.

After reading the message, the person typed his reply. He was going to meet Fuji in a restaurant near Seigaku, so that everyone in Seigaku would see them and notice his claim on the tensai. He needed to make them realize that Fuji was his, and his to keep.

The person looked up to the skies, stretched out his hand and let the rain fall down on it. _He had always liked the rain_, the person thought. The rain reminded him of the tensai. _I wonder if this is a good omen. I am going to meet with the person that I've given my whole heart and life to, and the rain's falling. Does this mean that the heavens are wishing me luck? Or pitying me?_ The person looked down, retracted his hand, put on his hood and walked towards the restaurant. He needed to get there early, since he didn't want the tensai to wait, again.

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A/N: There you have the second chapter..hope you liked it..:D hihi..reviews will be very much appreciated...:D 


	3. Disappearing Tensai

Disclaimer: Kono-sensei owns 'em…

A/N: kyaa..gomen ne…didn't have the time to update because of schoolwork and stuff…and we had to do a mime dance about Dante's Inferno…and so..there…nwei…here's the third chapter and here goes..enjoy..?!:D

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The Disappearing Tensai

"I wonder where Fuji has strayed off to," asked Kikumaru Eiji to his doubles' partner, Oishi Syuichirou, while the regulars were changing in the clubroom. Oishi pondered on the question for a while, then answered his Eiji with a smile and said, "Maybe he needed to do something." To Eiji, the answer seemed plausible, but to Tezuka, it made no sense at all. This was morning practice, and Fuji was not one to miss practice, unless it was a real emergency.

_Emergency_, the word rang in Tezuka's head as he changed into his jersey. Could it be that something happened to Fuji? But Fuji didn't look quite well the day before. What if he's sick? But Fuji said he was feeling fine. Could it be that he has been kidnapped? Raped? No, Yumiko-neesan shoul have called Ryuuzaki-sensei, if ever. Tezuka's head was starting to formulate possible reasons why Fuji was absent, that he didn't realize that somebody was talking to him, not until Oishi put his hand on the buchou's shoulder.

"It's fine, Matsuhiko-san," Oishi answered for Tezuka. At this, the lower classman walked away, thanking Oishi and looking quizzically at Tezuka. "Tezuka, is everything alright?" Oishi asked Tezuka. Tezuka looked at him and nodded, then walked out of the clubroom.

_Where could Fuji be?_ Tezuka asked himself again. Tezuka looked around. Fuji still wasn't around. He sighed and decided to give Fuji a call.

oOo

RRrrriinngg… RRrrriinngg… RRrrriinngg…

_Looks like my plan is working_, Fuji chuckled to himself. He pocketed his phone and ignored Tezuka's call. Yes, he _ignored_ Tezuka's call. Nobody else have the right mind and enough guts to do it, except Fuji Syuusuke.

After a few more rings, Tezuka ended his call. Fuji didn't pick up the call. The guy had the nerves to ignore him. Tezuka rubbed his temples. He'll try to call Fuji again later.

"All club members!!" Tezuka shouted, "40 laps around the court!!" _This is for making me worry about Fuji_, the captain thought as club members shuffled and ran around the court. Tezuka heard Momoshiro and Eiji complain about Tezuka's mood swings, so he shouted "Regulars! Additional 10 laps!"

oOo

_Ugh, this won't do me any good_, Tezuka thought again. Fuji was making him worry big time. He was worried, at the same time frustrated, about the tensai and he just poured out his frustration on the club members. _Good grief, Kunimitsu_, he told himself.

After some not-so-few minutes, the Regulars and the other club members finished their laps. Tezuka went to a nearby bench and sat down. He saw Oishi run towards him.

"Tezuka," Oishi started. "What were those laps for?" To Oishi, Tezuka didn't look the same. There was something bothering the captain, Oishi was sure of that. And he was also sure that _Tezuka does not shout out to people, ordering them to run 40 or 50 laps, just because he (Tezuka) was upset!!_

Tezuka stared at Oishi. Then the former answered, "Endurance." To Oishi, this translated to _because I need something to distract me from my current problem_. But this was Oishi we're talking about, so, he let Tezuka, his best friend and buchou, get off the hook _just this time_.

"All right," the vice-captain answered. As he walked away, Eiji and Momoshiro went up to him. "What did he do that for?" They asked. "Endurance," Oishi faked, and he walked away again.

When he heard what Oishi said, he knew that Oishi didn't buy his excuse. So, he sighed, stood up and went to make a call. He tried calling Fuji again, hoping that this time, the tensai would pick up.

oOo

RRrrriinngg… RRrrriinngg… RRrrriinngg…

_Again_, Fuji thought as he stared at his phone's screen. He was walking down the busy streets of Tokyo when he felt the vibration that was coming from his phone. When he checked it, surprise, surprise, it was Tezuka calling him.

Fuji pondered for a while and decided not to answer Tezuka's call. It isn't everyday that Tezuka worried about him, so, he was going to savor the moment.

oOo

RRrrriinngg… RRrrriinngg… RRrrriinngg…Click…beep…beep…beep…

_Ugh, he rejected the call again_, Tezuka thought. Fuji was playing hard to get, rather, _hard to reach_. _Fine_, the captain thought. _If you don't want to answer, then I won't call_, he added, but deep inside, he knew that he would worry about Fuji for the rest of the day.

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A/N: Sorry for the very very short chapter!!...huwaa...my head hurt while I was doing this chapter...and well, Yahoo and the IE wasn't really being kind to me lately...so...I promise to make up for the next chapters...:D but please review..:D 


	4. Visitor from the past

Disclaimer: Kono-sensei owns them…T.T

A/N: Fourth Chapter's up!...the mysterious person has been finally revealed…:D

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Visitor from the Past 

_Hn, this place looks really nice_, Fuji thought as he entered _Pierre Gagnaire a Tokyo_, a two-star French Restaurant in the Aoyama District in Tokyo. He looked around and saw couples enjoying their time over some good food. Then suddenly, a waiter approached him and asked him to follow. Fuji did so, for the waiter seemed to be expecting him. The said waiter led him to a corner, and told him to sit down there. Fuji thought that the view from his place was great. He was still enjoying the view when he felt someone touch his right shoulder. He looked around and saw the person he was waiting for.

"Long time no see, Syuusuke." The person said. He looked at the tensai whilst Fuji smiled and motioned for the person to sit down. "Good morning Saeki," Fuji answered. "It has been a long time," he continued.

Saeki sat down and grinned jovially. He asked for the menu and ordered some food for the two of them. When Saeki handed back the menu to the waiter, Fuji decided to start a conversation.

"So, _Saeki_, how are you doing?" Fuji asked, stressing on his former best friend's last name. A faint emotion that seemed to be hurt crossed Saeki's face, but Fuji took no notice of it. The tensai smiled, waiting for his answer, pretending to fiddle with the spoon and fork on the table.

The person questioned answered, "My tennis is doing fine. As for you, I know that there is no more need to ask. In regard with my personal matters, I can't say that I'm doing very fine since there are some things occupying my mind, like _pining for you_…" he said intentionally, fixing his gaze on the tensai.

Fuji's head snapped up to look at the man before him. "Saa…what do you mean, Saeki?" He asked. Right now, he had more important things in mind, like thinking up a good _and_ believable excuse to tell Tezuka later as to why he skipped school and ignored his calls. He didn't have the time to ponder on the avowal that his _former_ best friend said. "I can't really identify with what you're trying to say," he added with a shrug of his shoulder.

Saeki sighed and said, "Syuusuke, I have a little secret to tell you." Saeki held the hand on the table that was Fuji's. The tensai, although surprised at the sudden contact, remained eye contact with Saeki, revealing a pair of captivating blue eyes. "When we were still young, something happened, without either me or you knowing. I mean, it just happened, and when I realized it did, it was too late. I loved you, but you were gone. You were already out of my life."

Fuji was trying to see where this conversation would go. But a scene from the past prevented him. Suddenly, he was afraid to look into the future because something might happen. For once, he _was_ afraid that something _might_ happen.

"I was never able to tell you how I felt toward you. I was never able to make you feel the way my heart beats when you're around." Saeki sported a pained smile, but Fuji's face was unreadable. He was lost in his own thoughts, thoughts of what happened in the past.

"Saeki, why are you telling me this just right now?" From the way Fuji said those words, it seemed more of a statement than a question. The tensai retracted his hand and looked out in the window. The beauty of the outside world now seemed to disappear as tears started to form from the corner of Fuji's eyes. "Why?" He asked again.

Saeki, feeling pangs of hurt gnawing in his chest after Fuji withdrew his hand, lowered his gaze to the table. As he was about to respond to the unanswered question that was thrown to him, the waiter came and put down their orders.

"Here are your orders, sirs. We hope that you will enjoy them," said the waiter as he put down the Roasted Cauliflower soup, the Roasted Lemon Rosemary Chicken and the Winter Squash Puree, oblivious to the two boys' earlier conversation.

Fuji looked at his food. True, they looked delicious and tempting, but Fuji lost all his will to eat. It's as if the prior conversation sucked all his appetite. If only the waiter had served the cuisines a few minutes in advance, he would have slurped down the soup and chomped on the chicken and the puree.

"Those don't contain poison, so don't just stare at them. Might as well enjoy your food, it's almost lunch time. Itadakimasu," Saeki said with a small chuckle. Fuji noted that, even if Saeki sounded cheerful, his eyes were showing a great deal of pain. Fuji stared at his food again and thought about what Saeki said. "Itadakimasu," the tensai whispered.

The two ate in silence, occasional glances being thrown to the person in front of them when they thought the other wasn't paying attention. Finally, before they started for the chocolate torte, Fuji decided to break the silence.

"You know," Fuji started. Saeki looked at the tensai, waiting for what the latter was about to say. "When you turned me down before, I asked myself why you did that. I thought that maybe you were just startled by my confession, so I waited for you. I waited for you to tell me that you felt exactly the same way toward me. But I grew tired Saeki. I grew very tired that I decided to give up."

"I know. That's why I hated myself for making you wait. When you confessed to me, told me that you loved me and asked me if I felt the same way, I evaded your question, saying that you shouldn't say things like that. Back then, I said that because I didn't think that a person of your caliber would fall for a person like me, _an ordinary tennis guy_." Saeki chuckled at his words, but Fuji didn't find it amusing. Instead, he wanted to punch the living daylights out of Saeki's petty little mind.

"That's it? That's the reason why you turned me down?" Fuji said.

"Syuusuke, I was afraid. I thought that you were just playing around and wasn't serious when you said you loved me. I didn't know how I felt about you, not until you moved away from me ad settle here in Tokyo," Saeki said regretfully.

"You were afraid? Saeki, people don't gain anything from being afraid," Fuji stated. He can't believe that he was turned down by his first love just because the man was afraid. The way things were was starting to piss him off. "What do you really want?"

Saeki was surprised by this, but continued to speak anyway. He was determined to return home knowing that Fuji has forgiven him, at the least. He hoped for the better, but being forgiven, considering the current situation, would be fine with him. "Syuusuke, I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. It's just that…"

"Just what Saeki?" Fuji asked coldly. "Answer me. Just what were you thinking?"

"I just wanted to know if you're doing well. I just wanted to know if things between you and me can still be patched up. I was just thinking that maybe, just maybe, our friendship can still be saved…" Saeki's voice trailed as said those words.

Fuji's expression softened when he heard what Saeki said. "Sae-" he started, but Saeki cut him off. "Syuusuke! I'm willing to do anything, just please forgive me! Onegai…I'm begging you."

"Sae…no, Koujiroh, I have forgiven you. Even before you came here and asked for my forgiveness, I've already forgiven you. After all, that's what best friends do, right?" Fuji smiled at Saeki, who in turn was near tears because Fuji had finally called him by his first name, just like old times, and because Fuji had called him his "best friend", just like old times.

"Arigato, Syuusuke…honto ni…arigato gozaimasu," Saeki said.

After they finished eating, the two boys went to the park and sat there. They were enjoying their time when Saeki, out of the blue, asked Fuji something unexpected…

"Syuusuke, you've moved on right?"

"Hn…why?"

"Well, I was thinking. Who helped you move on? Who's your current special someone?"

Fuji wasn't able to answer the question immediately. In fact, he thought of evading the question. He thought that his best friend-turned-acquaintance was, still, in no position to know these kinds of things. When Saeki felt the sudden change in mood, he laughed quietly and said, "I didn't mean to make you feel awkward or something, it's just that, well, I just wanted to know. I wanted to know who helped you heal the wounds that I caused because…because…I want to thank that person wholeheartedly. I wanted to thank that person for taking care of you, and for making you forget the pain that I put you through."

When Fuji heard what Saeki said, he felt disheartened. It was true that, through his love for Tezuka, he was able to forget Saeki. But because he wanted to ignore what happened in the past, unconsciously, he repeated it. And now, everything hit him. He was in love, again, with someone who, this time for real, can never love him back. When the reality of that situation sank in him, a single tear began to fall down his cheek. When Saeki saw this, he was startled. "Syuusuke, I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean to make you cry…again," he said, his voice trailing.

Syuusuke laughed half-heartedly. "Saa, Koujiroh, I'm sorry you had to see that. It wasn't your fault. It's just that, well, history is repeating itself to me."

"Eh? What do you mean?" A puzzled Saeki looked at Fuji, who in turn, faked a smile.

"Well, it's true that I've moved on from you, only to unrequitedly love another." Fuji sported a dramatic pause, giving Saeki some time to think about where they're going to. The tensai then continued, "Tezuka distracted me from you, but he hurt me more than you did. His impersonality toward things drives me away from him at times. Unlike you, he doesn't seem to care for me genuinely. He asks if I'm okay, that's an undeniable fact, I mean, he just did yesterday. But he only does that because…because I was an asset…to the team."

Saeki looked at the crying figure of his beloved. He wanted to hug Fuji, to comfort him and tell him everything's fine and that he's there for him. But he couldn't because he knew that he isn't the one that can make Fuji smile. He knew that, now, Tezuka is the only person that can bring back Fuji Syuusuke's real smile, and that the best that he can do is give his best friend a pat in the back and console him.

"Syuusuke, always remember, that I'm always by your side. I believe in your strength, especially your ability to charm people and make them do the things that you want them to do. But just in case Tezuka breaks your heart, always remember that," he said with a smile, "boys' don't cry."

Upon hearing those words, Fuji Syuusuke smiled and felt glad that everything between him and Saeki was back to normal.

* * *

A/N: sorry for the super duper mega late update…I got carried away by school work…hihi...p nwei...hope you liked it..:D 

Notes:

Itadakimasu – thanks for the food

Onegai – please

Honto - really

Pierre Gagnaire a Tokyo actually exists…:D it's a two-star restaurant in the Aoyama District in Tokyo (as mentioned above)…and well, I used it because it's internationally famous…and well, my crush's name is in it…hihi…:D

I used a local Filipino song for Saeki's confession…it's Muntik na Kitang Minahal by Aiza Seguerra…I just translated some lines and rephrased it to fit the situation

"people don't gain anything from being afraid" is something that Al said in FMA ep21...:D

and please do review...:D

Next up is some interaction between Fuji and Tezuka..:D (whew finally!!...P)


	5. So Much for a Happy Ending

Disclaimer: Kono-sensei owns them…T.T

A/N: gah!!…I just realized that I strayed away from the plot in my fourth chapter so I have to make major editing in this and the upcoming chapters…and I'm really sorry for the uber late chapter…I go sick and missed school for three days, almost celebrated my birthday in the hospital and had to catch up in all my subjects…tsutanai!!…nwei…fifth chappie…enjoy :D

* * *

So Much for a Happy Ending

"_Just in case Tezuka breaks your heart…_" Saeki's words echoed through Fuji's mind as the tensai walked the streets of Tokyo. _What did he mean by 'just in case'? Can Tezuka actually break someone's heart?_ He asked himself. Pondering upon his last question, he remembered a time, some Valentine's Day a year ago. There was one girl who confessed her love for Tezuka and gave him some homemade chocolates. Tezuka, being the person that he is, accepted the chocolates; even he has no intention of eating it, or even opening it, in the first place. And Fuji, knowing the person that is Tezuka, asked if he could eat the chocolates. Tezuka consented and appreciated the gesture, since doing so means he would have fewer chocolates to mind and think of places to bring home and keep. Apparently, the said girl, being Tezuka's semi-stalker, overheard their conversation and saw what happened. Holding back her tears in vain, she walked up to Tezuka and told the buchou how he broke her heart. Fuji witnessed that event, and it transpired to him that, yes, _Tezuka Kunimitsu is a walking, talking, breathing heartbreaking-machine_.

On realizing these things, Fuji sighed as he entered the courts of Seigaku. _Wha-? Seigaku?_ Fuji stopped and was surprised. It was almost sundown and he was walking without minding much of what was happening around him, letting his feet do all the walking. And surprise, surprise! Seigaku's courts is where his feet took him. Fuji looked around, and felt somewhat nostalgic, after being away for almost the whole day and missing morning and afternoon practices. He realized that after being away for a whole day, he missed the place. He went to sit down to one of those benches and decided to stay and watch Seigaku's sunset. As he sat down, he saw the splendor of the said sunset, which often went unnoticed by the students. While he was sitting down and reminiscing, someone unexpected showed up and talked to him.

"You're finally here," Tezuka said. Fuji turned around and saw Tezuka leaning on the railings which prevented tennis balls from coming out of the court. Although surprised, Fuji managed to hide his astonishment from the buchou.

"You're still here," Fuji replied. His voice, Tezuka noted, seemed distant, as if the tensai was somewhere else but Seigaku. "Why haven't you gone home yet?"

"I waited for you," Tezuka answered, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. Fuji didn't expect Tezuka's answer, but the buchou just looked at him straight at the eye. "Come with me. We need to talk. Again." Tezuka took Fuji's hand and dragged him towards the school gates. When they had walked a good few meters away from school, Tezuka stopped and but did not let go of Fuji's hand. "Are you alright?" he asked, for the nth time, Fuji.

Seeing that they had stopped, Fuji tried to pull his hand from Tezuka's grip, but did so in vain. Tezuka, it seemed to the tensai, intended to keep him for a bit; meaning, it would be a very long talk. "Tezuka," Fuji whispered, "why do you always ask me if I'm alright, but never how I feel?" This question startled Tezuka, for it was not the answer that he was expecting? "What do you mean?" the buchou asked.

Freeing his hand in success, Fuji eyes void of any feeling, lowered his gaze. He shrugged and asked again, "Do you know that boy's can cry?" Tezuka looked at Fuji intently, waiting for him to continue speaking. "I'm telling you, just so that you know," Fuji smiled at Tezuka, eyes still downcast, and left him dumbfounded.

oOo

The long-cut-short conversation of the previous day took toll on Fuji, and his sadness was reflected by the monotonous tone of his voice. Being his best friend, Eiji noticed it immediately and bugs the tensai to tell him what's wrong. Fuji being Fuji, despite his problem, decided not to spill in order to not invoke worry and resolved to tell the acrobat that he was just tired. When the bell for dismissal rang and Eiji had gone over to Oishi, Fuji wandered along the corridors before going to practice. As he was walking, he heard some muffled cries from inside one of the classrooms.

_Hn, who could those cries belong to?_ Fuji thought of eavesdropping on the people, not minding the reprimand that he was going to get for his being absent the other day and that morning from practices and his being late for the afternoon's practice. Finding the door a bit ajar (to the advantage of a person with a small stature such as his), he peeped through it, and saw Tezuka, with his back to the door, and, apparently, a girl. Fuji felt surprise mixed with hurt at seeing the two, but did nothing and continued to silently watch them.

Shortly after, Eiji saw Fuji squinting at a door. "Hoi, Fuji-nya!!" he greeted the tensai.

"Sshh…Eiji, keep quiet," Fuji said motioning Eiji to look too. Eiji squatted and peeped through the small opening of the door, and gasped. "Ne, Fujiko, isn't that buchou?"

"Yes it is, and it looks like he's with a girl," Fuji added, avoiding any sign of strain in his voice. Not seeming to notice anything, Eiji said, "So that is why Ryuuzaki-sensei ordered us to find you and buchou." Eiji moved to get a better view, which made Fuji lose his balance. As they fell, Fuji had that feeling that he should look at Tezuka's direction and giving in to the feeling, he did so; and regretted it, for he saw something that tore his heart into pieces. He saw Tezuka and the girl kiss. Upon falling, Fuji neither felt pain from the impact nor from the weight of Eiji on him, but felt hurt from what he witnessed.

Hearing the noises, Tezuka turned around and saw a crying Fuji and a shocked Eiji on the floor. It occurred to him that the two saw him being kissed by the girl. "Fuji, le-" he started to explain, but the tensai cut him off.

"Sorry for the intrusion. Don't mind us and continue doing what couples are supposed to do," Fuji said. "Eiji, go ack to Ryuuzaki-sensei and tell her that you did not find Tezuka. As for me, tell her that I felt bad and went home," he shakily added. He bowed abruptly and ran outside, tears streaming down his face. Registering what Fuji said, Tezuka ran after the tensai, wanting to straighten some things.

* * *

A/N: there you have it…I'm sorry for the grammatical errors…and please do review…:D arigato!! 


	6. Runaway Fuji

Disclaimer: I do not own these boys…if I did, well…Tezuka and Fuji would be married by now…so will be Shishido and Choutarou…and Sanada and Yukimura…and I'll keep Yuuta-chan and Kirihara-pyon for myself!!...D squeal!!

* * *

Runaway Fuji

"Fuji, wait!" Tezuka yelled. He had been following Fuji for the last few minutes now, leaving a confused Eiji behind. What had he done to deserve this? _You kissed a girl, baka,_ his thought told him. _I did not, it was her who kissed me_, he refuted. _Even if I did, why, on earth, would Fuji get angry_, he added to his thoughts. _On earth_, his thought emphasized. _But Fuji is an angel, you think so yourself; angels live on heaven, therefore, Fuji lives in heaven, not on earth_, it added. Tezuka's brows furrowed at the mental war he was going through; now was not a definite time for that. "Fuji!" he called.

To Tezuka's surprise, the tensai stopped running, only to realize that the said tensai was in the middle of a pedestrian, while cars were moving at high speed. Apparently, Fuji had lost all reason and his mind was too clouded to think of his own being; something that Tezuka did not approve of.

"Fuji!" he called. Fuji shot him a venomous glare. Tezuka didn't flinch at Fuji's glare but he didn't like it either. He needed to talk some sense into the tensai, and thought that approaching him was not an option, considering that the tensai just shot him a death glare. But what could he do? From the way things looked, Tezuka didn't like where this fight was going. _Let the livid tensai talk first_, his thought said. Tezuka smirked inwardly. Maybe listening to his thoughts weren't so bad after all.

"What Tezuka?! Do you even care?" Fuji continued to stare angrily at Tezuka, his beautiful orbs showing through deadly slits. Suddenly, a loud shriek echoed from across the road, Fuji turned to look and fear replaced venom in his eyes. A truck was fast approaching him, and judging from the loud honking that it was producing, the driver wouldn't be able to stop just in time. Fuji, overwhelmed by dread, remained rooted to his spot. His limbs stopped functioning and his heart increased his paced. He didn't want to die, not yet. He still needed to tell Tezuka his feelings, after that, he can die.

Tezuka's eyes widened as the speeding truck approached the tensai, but felt more alarmed when he saw that Fuji didn't have enough sense to move. He sprinted as fast as he could, pulling the tensai back to safety, and silently thanking all those laps that he used to run during his early years in the Seigaku tennis club. "What were you thinking!?" Tezuka hissed at the tensai who was shaking uncontrollably. Apparently, Fuji was too shocked for words at what happened. He was almost hit by a speeding truck, and, more or less, died a stupid death. _And you almost lost him, ne, Kunimitsu_, Tezuka's thought added. Tezuka, glared in his mind; his thought was at it again.

Tezuka carried Fuji with both his arms, earning wolf whistles from some drunken bastards. "You best take care of him, ne! Or I'll keep that beauty to myself!" One of them shouted, referring to Fuji as beauty, earning laughter from his mates and a defiant stare from Tezuka. He went to a nearby park and leaned Fuji under a tree. When he stood up to buy water, Fuji reached out and tugged weakly at his uniform.

"What…" Tezuka almost yelled in frustration, but he opted to sigh instead. He can't continue to be irritated; not with Fuji like this. "…is it?"

Fuji was traumatized, but he wasn't going to let this fact burden him nor Tezuka. He smiled weakly at the captain as he tried to sit properly. "Tezuka," Fuji said, fondly, his hands clutching Tezuka's front shirt. "Thank you." The tensai snuggled his cheeks to Tezuka's chest. Instantaneously, Fuji felt warm and full, being this close to Tezuka. He felt as if he belonged there. Tezuka, unconsciously or not, wrapped his arms around the tensai when the latter decided to cuddle with him. _Fuji was just being clingy, that's all_, he thought defensively.

"And I'm sorry for worrying you a while ago," the tensai continued. "And yesterday…and the days before...and maybe for the days to come too! I didn't mean to worry you." Fuji knew this was half-true, he made Tezuka worry on purpose the days before, but not moments ago. "And I'm also sorry because I acted like an idiot, shouting at you, and glaring at you like that. I know I don't have the right to, but I felt angry when you let yourself be kissed by that girl."

Tezuka looked at Fuji, opened his mouth as if to say something, but closed it again. He was glad that Fuji knew that he didn't kiss the girl; he didn't know why, but it relieved him. He also kept his mouth shut because he wanted Fuji to talk about whatever was bothering him, and besides, the tensai was right. He did make him worry, so why deny what is true. He nodded, to show Fuji that he was agreeing. "You're my…" Tezuka contemplated for the right word, so that Fuji wouldn't run away like the last time, but realized that he could just hold him tight enough so the tensai wouldn't be able to break loose. "…best…friend, I guess. So you have the right to get mad," Tezuka said, his hug on the tensai tightening.

Fuji was surprised at what Tezuka said. _So I'm just his best friend, eh?_ He thought. _At least, better that a rival_, he added. Fuji wrapped his arms around Tezuka's waist, sensing Tezuka tense a bit, as he did so. "Let me hold you like this for now, Tezuka," Fuji whispered, words muffled by Tezuka's shirt. "Because I know that you wouldn't let me do this later on."

Tezuka couldn't comprehend what Fuji said. Why won't he let the tensai hug him? Sure, it felt foreign, and, unmanly, sort of, but Tezuka didn't mind doing it with Fuji. The tensai was light and soft to touch, despite being skinny and slightly muscular. Moreover, he smelled good too, especially his hair. "What do you mean?" Tezuka asked as he inhaled the scent that was Fuji, and was partly mesmerized by it. _Yep, he definitely smelled good_, he thought.

Fuji broke their embrace, and Tezuka suddenly felt empty as soon as the warmth of Fuji left his arms. The two looked into each other's eyes, weighing words in their mind. "Tezuka," it was Fuji who broke the silence. "Why did the girl kiss you?"

Tezuka was surprised at the straightforward question, but showed none of it. He closed his eyes shortly, as if in deep thought, and answered, "She confessed." Fuji looked at him, trying to comprehend what he was trying to say. "She kissed me because she confessed and wanted to kiss me." He said truthfully, plain and simple as that, trying to help Fuji figure things out; but Fuji didn't seem to buy it. Fuji chuckled, punching Tezuka lightly in the shoulder. He tried to stand up, losing balance in the process. Thankfully, Tezuka caught him before he hit the ground.

"You have my fast reflexes to thank for that," Tezuka pointed out, while holding Fuji against him. Fuji pulled away blushing, and hugged himself. Really, Tezuka was affecting him, big time. "Idiot," the tensai mumbled. Tezuka was amazed by Fuji's reaction, then, again showed none of it.

"Ne, Tezuka, what you said...is it true?" Fuji asked, leaning on the tree, still clutching his own arms. Tezuka nodded, and waited for Fuji's outburst, but, to his surprise, he got none. Instead, Fuji slid down the tree, sighing. Tezuka arched an eyebrow. "Why?" the captain asked.

Fuji looked at him with a painful and tender smile. "I didn't know that Tezuka-buchou, the almighty Tezuka-buchou, would let just anybody kiss him." Fuji said, eyes gazing at the ground, fingers playing delicately with the grass. Tezuka thought he was beautiful like this, but he didn't tell Fuji. He snorted, in response to what Fuji said. He sat down beside the tensai, focusing his gaze somewhere distant, to avoid looking at Fuji and, perhaps, touching him at the wrong places. Honestly, how could he resist Fuji when he was so vulnerable and beautiful before him? _I did not just think that?! Or did I?_ He asked himself.

"If then, perchance," Fuji leaned into Tezuka seductively, pressing his chest slightly against the captain, "I were to kiss buchou…will he allow it?" He whispered into Tezuka's ear softly, with half-lidded eyes, one of his hands tracing Tezuka's jaw. Tezuka didn't give in to Fuji's act, maintaining his own composure. If Fuji was going to go nuts, he needed to stay sane, so one of them could take the other home safely. He took hold of Fuji's hand, and told the tensai "Fuji, stop it."

Fuji pulled away his hand from Tezuka's grip and smiled a Cheshire's grin. "Saa…buchou's a bit rough, isn't he." He continued to smile, hoping that Tezuka would get his hint.

"I don't understand what you're saying," Tezuka said. Fuji was hurt by Tezuka's words. Tears started welling up in his eyes, but he fought them. "Stop playing dumb and numb, Tezuka." He said voice a bit husky.

"I am not one, so I don't intend to, don't worry," Tezuka replied, a bit irritated at being called dumb and numb at the same time.

"I know you're not one so I don't intend to treat you like one," Fuji stated. "but at least try to be sensitive, idiot!" Fuji started to leave but Tezuka held his hand and yanked him down. Fuji was surprised at what Tezuka did, but was more surprised at what Tezuka said.

"You are not leaving here until you explain what you just said." With this, Tezuka pulled out his phone with his free hand, and dialed a number, all the while not letting Fuji go. "Oishi, this is Tezuka. Are still in school?" Tezuka waited for Oishi's reply. When the latter confirmed that he was still in school, Tezuka asked for a favor. "Oishi, can you and Kikumaru please take Fuji's and my things home. We have some things to attend to, so we won't be able to get them until after school closes. And please tell Ryuuzaki-sensei that we're sorry for not attending practice today and that we will see her first thing in the morning tomorrow." When Tezuka finished with Oishi, he turned to Fuji and told him, "Now, we talk."

* * *

A/N: kyaa!!...hihi…I loved Tezuka's thoughts and Fuji snuggling with Tezuka…kyaa…perfect pair love!!!

since we don't really know what is going on inside that sexy brain of Tezuka's… (and it's probably filled with dirty thoughts of Fuji lying on his sheets…) gah…I seriously need to make myself stop thinking of Tezuka and Fuji smex…nwei…I decided to play with it a bit, making it a bit twisted…haha...I hope you liked this chapter…thanks…and please do review…!!

PS…(for anyone who's up for a challenge) Can somebody write a fic about Tezuka, Fuji and a) Rubik's Cube, b)perfume or cologne or love potion, c)chess or chess pieces (and Tezuka losing to Fuji), d)bunnies or some cute animal or e) all of the above? (Please make it T or M rating you guys...D) it'll be very much appreciated…thanks…


	7. Fuji's Broken Heart

Disclaimer: I do not own the boys...you know my plans if I do own them…

A/N: Tezuka and Fuji talk…

* * *

Fuji's Broken Heart

"Let. Me. Go." Fuji's eyes were again slits, but Tezuka would not give in. "Let my hand go."

"How do I know that you won't run away?" Tezuka asked. Fuji looked at him icily. "I am not some damn criminal, so I won't run when I don't need to." Tezuka closed his eyes shortly and let Fuji's hand go. His grip might have been too strong, for Fuji rubbed his hand the moment Tezuka's grip left it. Tezuka gently took Fuji's hand and kissed the part that he held firmly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." He then gave Fuji's hand a slight squeeze, hoping to make the tensai feel at ease.

Fuji felt shy at what Tezuka had done. It wasn't like Tezuka to act like this, and Fuji felt honored for having to witness it. He wanted to pull away his hand, but he couldn't find the strength to do so. _Maybe, just maybe, Tezuka felt the same_, Fuji thought. "Uh, Tezuka…" Fuji wanted to say something, but he wasn't sure what to say. He then saw an empty park bench not too far away. "…let's stay there," he said, pointing to the bench.

"Ah," Tezuka said. He stood up and helped the tensai up. He then led Fuji to the bench, still soothingly holding his hand. When they have settled, Fuji spoke first.

"Tezuka," he said. "Have you ever thought about what I told you yesterday?" Fuji looked up into the sky. It was starting to get dark but he liked it because stars were starting to show. That time, it was near the end of fall, and despite to the occasional rain during daytime, the sky was mostly clear at night, which enabled Fuji to be able clearly see the stars. Fuji waited for Tezuka's answer while enjoying the sight above him.

"Hn, not really," Tezuka answered truthfully. "I'm sorry," he apologized.

Fuji chuckled. It was just like Tezuka to do such a thing. "Ie, daijobu," he said. "I just thought you'd be puzzled enough to think about it." Tezuka nodded once to show Fuji he understood. Fuji sighed. He wanted to say something, but he didn't know how to start. "Tezuka," he said.

Tezuka looked at him. There was something bugging his mind, but he couldn't figure out what. _It's about time you told him_, his insides told him. _Tell him what?_ He asked his self.

"Tezuka, you know," Fuji started, "all my life, I've thought of nothing but putting others before me." He was going to make Tezuka see his true feelings, and he was making sure that Tezuka understands that. "But one person told me that I'm being selfish for doing so, because I'm limiting the capability of the person I'm protecting. He said that I should take the back seat, and let others protect me, instead of me protecting them."

"Ah," Tezuka replied, looking at Fuji intently.

"At first, I was annoyed by what that person said. I mean, here I was, trying my best so that the people I cared for won't hurt me, and then he comes along and tells me to step back. But when I thought about it, I realized that maybe he was right. That's when I started admiring that person. Slowly, my admiration grew into something more. Simple hellos became nightly phone calls, and occasional visits became frequent overnights. Slowly, I was starting to fall in love, with my _best friend_."

Tezuka imagined Fuji in love. How could the tensai possibly act in love, when he was so caring and sweet even when not in love? Thoughts of Fuji holding up a freshly baked pie to an unknown person danced in Tezuka's head when Fuji's last two words registered into his head. "Best friend?" he asked.

"Hai," Fuji said. "Saeki, used to be everything to me. I was very young back then, and love was foreign to me. I was hesitating, knowing that what I'm feeling is unacceptable. Days turned into months, and soon, I was preparing to leave for Tokyo. Nights before my departure, I saw myself in front of Saeki, crying my heart out. Apparently, while I loved him, he just saw me as someone special. He said that he wasn't sure about how he felt towards me. He didn't return my feelings. Back then," Fuji paused, "_he didn't want me_," he whispered.

Tezuka looked at Fuji, and saw that the memories were making the tensai cry. He tried to wipe the tears flowing from the tensai's eyes, but Fuji brushed his hand away. The tensai looked away from Tezuka, and continued with his story.

"When I entered Seigaku, I told myself that I won't let anybody hurt me again. I was carefully building a wall around my heart, and making sure that never it will again fall, and I almost perfected the art of doing so, when someone, yet again, broke through it. He made my heart beat its wings again, giving it a new breath of life; life I didn't know that it still had. He reached out and embraced with his warmth, and I gladly accepted it. When I was again flying high, so sure of how I feel, he ripped my wings apart. I thought he cared for me, but I was wrong. All he cared about was his career. He cared for me because I was part of his career. Reality took its toll on me, and now, I have accepted the fact that he will never reciprocate my feelings. After all, two men aren't supposed to love each other, ne, Tezuka?" Fuji finished his story, a pained smile gracing his lips. He looked at Tezuka, his eyes cheerless and empty.

Tezuka cleared his throat, and looked at Fuji questioningly. "And what you're trying to say is?" he asked.

Fuji rose from his seat, his back to Tezuka. "Tezuka," Fuji took a deep breath. _Here goes_, he thought. "Tezuka, you…" the tensai found it hard to say the words, but continued anyway, "…you helped me moved on from Saeki. Thank you very much." Fuji thought that after he was through with this, he would run away and never love again, just like what he tried to do with Saeki, and this time, he was going to make sure that he succeeds. "And before I go, I just want you to know that I love you, and this time, I know what I'm feeling is true. I know you don't believe in high school romance, much more in same gender relationships. But I'm saying to you anyway. I love you, and you'll be the last person that I'll fall in love like this with, remember that."

Tezuka couldn't believe what he heard. He was speechless, dumbfounded, way beyond normal. But Fuji took Tezuka's silence as a rejection, so he smiled to himself for another failure in love.

"Good bye Tezuka," he said shakily, steady tears flowing down his cheeks. "It was nice talking to you."

* * *

A/N: huwaa…that was tough…Tezuka didn't have much say in this chapter, since I wanted Fuji to do all the talking, but it helped, at least for me…hope you liked it!!...

reviews are gladly accepted minna-san!!..

and please feel free to flame me, but please make it as constructive as you can…I'm trying to improve myself so I'd appreciated it if you'd correct any wrongs I have done…after all, a writer tends to overlook his own errors in writing…

compliments are very much appreciated and loved, though...onegaishimasu!!...honto ni arigato gozaimasu!!...


	8. Living and Existing

Disclaimer: Konomi-sensei owns them…

A/N: Yosh! Okaeri nasai! haha…sorry for the very, very, very, very, very, very long delay. lolz…I won't explain myself 'coz the explanation/rants might come out longer than the fic itself…haha ;) hope you guys enjoy…and review ^__^

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Living and Existing.

"_Good bye Tezuka," Fuji said shakily, steady tears flowing down his cheeks. "It was nice talking to you."_

"Wait," Tezuka said as he reached for Fuji's hand. "Fuji…" The tensai stood from where he was seated, wanting to run away from the place then and there. He wanted to disappear, to just go. He didn't want to hear the hurtful words that Tezuka had for him. He didn't want to listen to the words of rejection he will receive from the voice of the man he loved most. "Arigato, ne, Tezuka. H-honto ni…honto ni, arigato…Kunimitsu," he said, wiping his tears with his free hand.

Tezuka stared at Fuji's back. "Fuji…please." Tezuka's eyes pleaded Fuji to stay, but Fuji couldn't see it. With his back turned, Fuji pulled his hand from Tezuka's weakening grip. He breathed deeply and wiped his tears. He let out a small chuckle, put on his smiling face and faced Tezuka. "I have to go. Mata ashita, buchou. Ja," he waved, and then walked away.

Tezuka hung his head and clenched his fist. "Syuusuke..." he whispered. He closed his eyes and let out a shout of frustration, not minding the other people around him. Lastly, he breathed a deep breath, his head finally clear of thoughts. Now, he can think.

oOo

Fuji walked the familiar streets of Tokyo aimlessly. His eyes were distant, and his thoughts uncoordinated. After hearing Tezuka shout, he regretted what he did. He wished he hadn't smiled back there when he was still with Tezuka. He knew Tezuka wouldn't like it. He _hoped_ Tezuka didn't like it and that the man would reprimand him about it. At least, that way, Tezuka would still talk to him.

He stopped in front of a cake shop and noticed the group of friends happily eating inside. He felt neither hunger nor thirst at the sight of their food, but he felt jealousy – jealousy of their bonding, of being able to spend time with the people they care about.

He continued to walk and reminisce on how his relationship with Tezuka had been. He saw them walking side by side from school. He passed by the hospital and remembered the two of them sharing that big umbrella Tezuka had. He recalled asking the captain why he preferred big umbrellas and chuckled at his own thought.

oOo

Tezuka removed his glasses, brows creased. He couldn't understand how he felt about things, about Fuji, about what happened. He had been sitting at the park bench for almost an hour now. An hour since Fuji left him. An hour since things changed between them.

_Did something really change, ne, Kunimitsu_, his thought asked him. _Or did you just realize something that you were afraid to admit?_

Tezuka pondered on that. He now knew how Fuji felt about him. But what about him? How does he feel about the tensai? How did he feel about how they are? And why?

He pinched the bridge of his nose. _Syuusuke_, the tensai's name rang in his head. That was all he can think of now. He didn't have answers to his questions. Not yet. But he will have answers. Right now, he just have to settle himself with thinking of the tensai…and how he will face him the next day, if Fuji would want to face him, that is.

oOo

"Tezuka Kunimitsu…"

Fuji was sitting on his desk and was staring at the framed photo of Tezuka on his table. He just arrived, and, after saying his greetings, skipped dinner and proceeded to lock himself in his room. He thought of throwing an angry fit and crying all night, so he'd have a reason to stay in bed the next day and not see Tezuka. "But that wouldn't really be like me," he sighed.

He touched the photo's frame and admired the splendor that was captured by his skillful photography. "Tezuka Kunimitsu," he said. A tear escaped his tired eyes again, but none followed. "I am tired, but I won't stop. I'll continue to love you, even if you don't feel the same way. I'll smile, but only to hide my pain. I'll still be the Fuji Syuusuke you knew, despite what happened, despite the hurt that it will cause me. That, I promise."

Fuji placed the photo down, the frame facing the tabletop. He knew that he'd replace the photo back to its original position the moment he wakes up the next day, but for that moment, he wanted nothing that would remind him of Tezuka. Just for that night.

The tensai closed his eyes; he knew that tomorrow, he'd be a different person from who he was before. Tomorrow, the Fuji Syuusuke that the people will meet would not be the same Fuji Syuusuke who really is.

That from that night, he will continue to exist, but not live.

"Oyasumi nasai, Tezuka Kunimitsu."

* * *

A/N: If the story flow suddenly changed, sorry about that. I've gotten, err, rusty after not writing anything (besides lab reports and final papers) after a long time. Please bear with me, ne? I'll update as regularly as I can from now on…haha :p


	9. Pretentions, Disguises

Disclaimer: Konomi-sensei owns them ;p

**A/N:** Chapter 9, hot from the press! Enjoy ;)

Pretentions, Disguises

* * *

"Alright, let's start the morning practices. It's time for warm-up, 20 laps around the court," Tezuka ordered. He stood at the entrance of the tennis courts, his arms folded in front of his chest, with coach Ryuuzaki.

"Hmm, Fuji's absent again. I wonder what's happened to him," Ryuuzaki thought loudly. She looked at Tezuka expectantly, hoping to see some reaction from him. Oishi told her that the last time he heard about the tensai was that Fuji was with Tezuka. After that, neither he nor anybody else heard from Fuji.

Tezuka nodded silently in agreement to what Ryuuzaki said. The old coach sighed and put her hand on Tezuka's shoulder. "I'll go back to arrange some things, so I'm leaving everything to you. Whatever it is that's wrong with Fuji, you, Tezuka, of all people, should know," she said. Tezuka didn't say anything, but continued to look after the running club members. "Hai, sensei," he replied.

The captain recalled last week's events – the last time he saw Fuji Syuusuke. It wasn't something that's really memorable, but he can't seem to get it out of his mind. Actually, he wanted the memory away, at the same time, he didn't. That time was the last time he'd seen Fuji. That time was the last time he'd seen Fuji smile. Even if it wasn't real.

_Fuji's smile_, Tezuka thought. He pinched the bridge of his nose and creased his forehead. Now wasn't the time to think of such things. Tezuka swept his eyes around the court once more. The regular members have just finished their laps and are gathered near the entrances with Tezuka. "It really is different with Fuji not here, ne?" Kikumaru took the words right out of Tezuka's thoughts.

"Yeah," Kawamura Takeshi agreed. "It feels…incomplete." Another blow to Tezuka. The captain unnoticeably closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. He went stiff as he listened to his teammates' concerns.

"As if something's missing," Oishi said. He looked at Tezuka, his eyes inquiring. He noticed the tenseness of the captain and looked at him pointedly. Tezuka noticed and met his gaze, daring the vice-captain to ask his question. Oishi broke their gaze and opted to stare at the ground, his worry left unanswered.

"Just like your racket being taken away from you, huh? That kind of incomplete?" Momoshiro Takeshi looked at his extended arm, opening and closing his hand to stress his point. "It feels so…normal. Practices aren't just the same," he sighed.

"And so are the classes," Kikumaru added. "He's been skipping school for days and he isn't answering even my calls. Our teachers and classmates are worried about him too."

"Have you tried calling his sister?" Tezuka spoke for the first time. He directed the question to no one and looked at the courts as he did. Kikumaru nodded, but Tezuka didn't take notice. "She said Fuji's sick. But I don't believe it. It's not like Fuji to miss school this long, right?" the acrobat player asked.

"True," Tezuka nodded his assent. "Fuji wouldn't let that happen." _Unless it wasn't physical injury_, he added to his thoughts. "Alright, break time's over. Back to practice," Tezuka ordered.

"Fuji Syuusuke…" Tezuka whispered to himself. He recalled once more what transpired between him and Fuji. He recalled the words that Fuji told him.

"_Tezuka, you…you helped me moved on from Saeki. Thank you very much._"

_I didn't Fuji. I didn't help you. You chose to move on from him. You just made me the reason_, Tezuka thought, rebutting Fuji's statement in his mind.

"_I love you, and you'll be the last person that I'll fall in love like this with, remember that._"

_No, Fuji. I won't be the last. I can't be the last. I'm not an expert on love, but I do know that there's no limit in the number of people you can love nor the amount of love you can give_, Tezuka rebutted again. Why was he doing this again? Yeah, so that he'll have something to say when he sees the tensai again. So he can put logic back inside the tensai's brain.

He remembered what his brain told him when Fuji left. Rather, he remembered what his brain asked him.

_Did something really change, ne, Kunimitsu_ o_r did you just realize something that you were afraid to admit?_

_What is it now, Kunimitsu?_ his thought asked him again. He thought of everything he could remember that had happened between him and Fuji ever since they met. The match, the plays, the practices. Fuji was always by his side. How could he not have felt what Fuji felt? How could he not see that?

Tezuka closed his eyes in defeat. He still couldn't answer his questions. He clenched his fists and gritted his teeth. All this, everything that's happening, it's confusing him. He didn't want to think of his feelings as love. It couldn't be that simple. No, it couldn't be. If it was, things shouldn't be like this.

Tezuka rested on a nearby bench, his right hand massaging his temples. A familiar voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Water, buchou?"

Tezuka opened his eyes and before him stood Fuji Syuusuke, with a water bottle in his hand. "I'm sorry for being late, I had some things to take care of," he smiled apologetically.

Tezuka nodded and ordered him to run laps as punishment. Fuji smiled and waved his dismissal. As the tensai started his laps, Tezuka felt uneasy.

_Things aren't the same now but he will act as if it is_, Tezuka thought.

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**A/N:** I'll try to be as in-character as possible next time. Sorry about that *points to chapter above* honestly, I'm really, really, really, really, really having a hard time writing Tezuka. grr. please bear with me. haha :))

reviews, onegai? pretty please with cream and cherries on top? *bats eyelashes*


	10. The Final Practice

**Disclaimer:** Yeah, those stuff about Konomi-sensei owning them.

**A/N:** I'm still having a hard time writing Tezuka, and I'm juggling writing him with school and org work. pfft. I don't like writing him. haha :))

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The Final Practice

As Fuji Syuusuke ran around the courts, Tezuka's eyes followed him. He did not know how to feel, how to react. He did not know what to say or do. All he knew was some things changed between him and the tensai over the days. All he was aware was the fact that his and Fuji's relationship could never be the same. Moreover, he was conscious of the fact that Fuji would act the same towards him in front of others, but differently when nobody's around.

_But what exactly did change between them?_

Tezuka thought of that as he noted how Fuji ran. It was graceful, unlike those other players who ran mindlessly. Fuji was sweating, but it he didn't look unpleasant. It was as if the sweat was something else, adding to his beauty, to his poise.

Fuji panted as he ran, but as was with the sweat, it wasn't like anyone else's. Yes, he was panting, but not like he was tired and about to give up. It was a different kind of panting. Tezuka tried to find the right words to describe how Fuji was like when he ran, but he couldn't find any.

All he knew was he was in awe. He admired how Fuji could be so elegant even while running. He scanned the courts and noticed that the other club members were also looking at Fuji. _Perhaps_, he thought, _they are also thinking of Fuji the same way as I am. Perhaps, they are as puzzled as I am._

Tezuka continued to stare at Fuji, the millions of questions in his head left unanswered. Tezuka knew that someday, somehow, time would come when he would have to face Fuji again. Tezuka wanted and, at the same time, didn't want that day to come. He wanted because he knew that both of them knew that they would have to. Fuji and he could not stay like this forever. He didn't want because he didn't know how things will go and what will happen.

When Fuji finished, Tezuka called for him. "Fuji!" he said.

The tensai walked towards the captain, towel in his hand. He stopped in front of the bench that Tezuka was sitting on, didn't say anything but waited for what the other man was about to say.

Tezuka remained quiet, arms folded in front of his chest. He avoided looking at Fuji; he had done enough observing for the day. Seconds of silence transpired between the two, one not wanting to disturb the other's thoughts. However, despite the noticeable seemingly pregnant silence, there wasn't actually anything particular going on inside both their minds. But they both didn't know that, so they continued to not disturb the stillness.

"Fuji…" Tezuka finally said. He adjusted his glasses up his nose, then looked at the tensai directly. "Why were you absent?"

Fuji straightened up and gripped his towel. "I…" he started. "I arranged some papers. Ryuuzaki-san and the school are already informed about my plans and I have submitted the necessary documents," he continued.

Tezuka's brows furrowed. "What are you talking about?" he asked.

"I said I've taken care of things, right?" Fuji said. He tried dodging Tezuka's question. He had wanted to keep it a secret, but apparently, he wouldn't be able to.

Tezuka's jaws tightened as he processed what Fuji implied. He knew the answer, but asked anyway. "Which are?" he still inquired.

Fuji was amused at how Tezuka was handling things. He leaned his head on one side and let out a weak smile. "I'll be transferring schools, buchou," he finally said.

Tezuka remained silent again. For a moment, Fuji thought he saw a flash of despair in Tezuka's eyes, but shook away those thoughts instantly. He thought he probably just imagined it because it is what he wanted Tezuka to feel.

Unknown to the tensai, Tezuka did feel loss at what he heard. He wanted to tell Fuji to stop talking rubbish. He wanted to tell Fuji to stay. He wanted to tell Fuji that he wanted him here. True, Tezuka didn't know how he felt about Fuji, but he knew that he wanted Fuji by his side and that the others felt the same way. He wanted Fuji to see his and Seigaku's triumphs, to feel his and Seigaku's sadness. He wanted to share Seigaku's victory with Fuji, with all the regulars. Fuji was his best friend. _And, maybe, much more_, Tezuka thought.

But all those remained inside Tezuka's head. Instead of giving Fuji a piece of his mind, just like what he practiced earlier, Tezuka said, "Why was I not informed?"

"Ryuuzaki-san was the one who was supposed to inform you," Fuji answered. "Supposedly, you're not to know until tomorrow, when I finally leave. She has actually dismissed me and told me that I can choose to not attend the practices, but I figured one last before I finally leave won't hurt," Fuji finished.

Tezuka nodded. "I suppose so," he agreed.

Fuji looked at Tezuka. "Is it alright? Or do I have to leave?" the tensai asked. Tezuka thought about it. Fuji wasn't a regular or a club member any more, and, as per club rules, non-members aren't allowed in the courts. Fuji knew that too, that's why he asked. "Buchou, am I not allowed?" Fuji asked again.

Tezuka was about to answer when the other regulars came and huddled around Fuji. He was about to tell him that he had to leave the courts when he saw how Kikumaru's and the other players' earlier depressions disappeared as they greeted the tennis player.

He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. He couldn't ruin this final moment now. He couldn't mess it up like how he messed up his and Fuji's relationship. "Yes, you can. But only for today," he said the words only he and Fuji could understand.

Fuji nodded as he watched Tezuka stand up. The captain left the group and told the other club members to rest for a while. He needed to be away for the time being. He didn't want to be part of this joy of Fuji's "coming back", not when he knew what was to happen. He wouldn't be able to bear the conscience of being part of the celebratory happiness that he would break the next day.

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**A/N:** There. Since I was having a hard time writing Tezuka, I didn't make him talk much in this chapter. haha :)) I hope you liked it :p

Reviews, please? :D


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